Back To It

After struggling through multiple injuries last year during the half training, I decided to give myself a break. I needed a physical break, but I very much needed a mental break, too. I was so disappointed that I did not get to knock the half-marathon off of my list. The injuries weren't my fault, of course, but I felt like a quitter. I'm finally itching to get back to it, and I think I've chosen a date. I'm aiming for a half-marathon on June 11th, and it'll benefit Wounded Warriors - specifically Marines. My brother completed three tours in Iraq and Afghanistan as a Marine, so I have quite a soft spot for soldiers. It'll be a race that means something, and that is motivating all on its own.


I probably should have started running 3-4 weeks ago, but I did not. So I'm starting my training tomorrow instead. I did gain a little weight when I stopped running last year, so I'm hoping that picking it back up will help to lean me out. I'm also hoping to experiment with more anti-inflammatory food/drinks so that hopefully I can prevent injuries.


Stay tuned, folks. It's about to get exciting around here again.

Setbacks

I started writing this a few weeks ago, and just didn't get around to publishing it, mostly because I was hoping it would change. I've been dealing with a pain in my foot for awhile. I was running through it, and just hoping it was something like a pulled muscle, but the longer I ran the more it throbbed. The nine-mile run I completed was pretty painful, and I started to worry that I had a stress fracture. I went to the orthopedic doctor and they ran x-rays - no fracture. That was great news. The not so great news was that I had a very, very inflamed tendon. At the time I went in (about 5-6 weeks ago I suppose) it was hurting simply to walk on it. You guys know how important this half is to me. He told me I couldn't run it and I immediately started trying (unsuccessfully) to hold back tears. He said that if I continued to run, I was at risk of more permanant damage, and also told me that it would absolutely only hurt more and not get better if I didn't rest. As much as I want to do this half, I want to enjoy the experience. But, I felt like I was letting people down. So many people have been cheering me on, and the last thing I want to do is be a disappointment to them. I'm not a quitter anymore, and it's been really, really hard to listen to the advice of the doctor and postpone this dream for just a little while longer. That's best though, so that's what I've done. I was in a boot initially just to settle the inflammation, and I'm in physical therapy twice a week right now. He hasn't cleared me to start running, but I'm back to yoga, and modified HIIT classes. I feel like it's getting better, but there are definitely things that are still painful for me, and that's frustrating. I know this time will pass, and I'll be glad I fixed the problem, but it's hard to wait. Apparently, the impact to that particular part of my foot is due to some pretty severe pronating. That just means I run on the inside of my foot rather than distributing the impact over my full foot. It's likely what caused my knee issue earlier in the year as well. We're focusing on retraining those muscles to work properly, and that's proving to be a challenge. I'll get there though. I'd like to run a half that is here in Texas at the end of February, but it all depends on when he releases me. I need to be able to build up my training again, and I'm not sure I can do it in under 8 weeks. I'm keeping an open mind and being patient, and when it happens, it happens.


In other news, IT IS ALMOST CHRISTMAS. I love everything about Christmas, and I'm already over-the-moon on the daily. I want all the music, all the decorations, and allllll the Christmas shows. It's my favorite time of the year, and I am so very happy about that. It's quite the welcome distraction!

Whaaaaa?!

Yesterday I ran nine miles. Literally NINE MILES. No moping, no whining, no complaining. I got it done. And you know what? I felt like (and still feel like) a total rockstar. I can do this. I AM doing this. And I'm proud.

Running Woes

I just finished the Run in the Dark 5K. I ran it with some coworkers, who all seem to make it seem effortless. I've been running consistently for 9 months now, and I still don't feel good at it. At all. I'm not fast, and it doesn't feel easy. Yesterday I wanted to beat my prior 5K time and and my Nike app failed when I pressed play so I ran blindly with no way to pace myself. It was frustrating, to say the least. At the end of the race, I opted to not check my time in front of the others; I knew I'd be disappointed if I was slower than I had intended to be. Hell, I felt a little disappointed anyway. In a career where I'm fighting every day to stay relevant and valuable and visible, and in a body that I can't ever seem to modify despite killing myself in the gym, I just want there to be something that makes me feel more than mediocre. I want to be great at something, and I can't find it. 

Then I think about the fact that I'm about to run 8 miles today. Uhm, what? That's FAR. And despite the fact that I know it's going to hurt, and I know I'm going to be slow, and I know it doesn't feel natural to me, I'm still going to do it. And sometimes that makes me feel really strong all on its own. I want to give up on this half-marathon and chalk it up to not being a runner. I used to quit things all the time. But I'm not quitting this. I have a goal, and I'm going to finish. I want that to be enough, but it doesn't feel like enough yet. Maybe the sense of accomplishment will feel better on race day, when I can cross that finish line and remember every single day of hard work that went into it, and know that I did something that seemed impossible to do. But right now, I just feel frustrated. 

I don't want to be a complainer. I'm thankful I can run, and work, and that I have really dear friends who enjoy the same things. So just in this little space, for a few minutes, I'm going to feel disappointed. And when I put this down, I'll go conquer the day with no more complaints. I will be happy and thankful and I'll probably feel pretty proud after this long run. 

So now I'm done. Let's do this, Sunday.

Run, Kris, Run

Half-marathon training is fully in swing. I'm about 11 weeks out now, and I have a fully planned out training schedule. I'm running 3 days a week, with my long runs on Saturday. The other days I'm doing HIIT/yoga classes, and it's alot. I'm starting to feel strong, but I'm still pretty sore. Running is the hardest, but it's more of a mental hard than a physical hard. Sore I can handle, but 2 miles into every run I want to quit. I don't, of course, but I want to. I have a string of faces I rotate through every time a run hits 3 miles - and it's a consistent method that works to keep me motivated. I think of how much they all believe in me, and how much they want me to succeed. When running for me isn't enough anymore, I run for them. I keep asking myself if I can do this - it feels so overwhelming - but I know that I can. One step at a time.


I'm really ready to lean out a bit more, and so far I haven't noticed too much change in my body. My waist seems smaller, and muscles feel stronger, but I want to see those things when I'm staring in the mirror and I don't yet. I'm staying the course though. As my mileage increases, I'm hoping I begin to decrease even more. It'll make me faster, and probably be a bit easier on this stubborn knee that doesn't want to behave.


What working hard IS helping with is some work stress. My best friends at the office have all seemed a bit stressed out, and I've had my fair share, too. A friend always tells me that stress is self-induced, but sometimes it's difficult to stop from feeling that way. Working out hard after work releases all of that, and I find that if I don't work out, I continue to feel stressed for the night. It is a wonderful release of emotion to get sweaty. That and regular Happy Hours, ha!


On that note, cheers! Now let's all go run and have a beer.

Hiking Recap

We finished up the hiking trip, and I'm glad to report that not only did I survive, but I loved it! I had some serious concerns going in - HOW am I going to be comfortable pooping in the woods, am I strong enough to hike with a pack, how will my knee hold up, what if I get sick or hurt, what about bears? We got there on Sunday and my pack felt ridiculously heavy. I was excited though, so the day started off well. After some adjustments on my pack, I finally shifted the weight onto my hips appropriately, and the pack was much easier to carry.

Despite covering myself in strong bug spray, I could both see and feel the mosquitos. They were attracted to me and I had a constant swarm. I'm scratching as we speak; my entire body is covered in bites. The park was separated into numbered camp sites and our camp site was on the other side of the park from where we parked, so we had awhile to walk. It started raining, and I was glad I chose to purchase a rain jacket before this trip. I debated on whether or not it was a necessity, but I sure was glad to have it when the downpour hit. The rain slowed us down a bit. It made parts of the trails incredibly muddy, and it was hard to see at times while we hiked. The worst part about it, though, was the number of slugs that emerged. At one point there was a tree that had fallen over the trail. There was no way around so I had to climb over. The weight of my pack pushed me forward as I climbed and when I grabbed the tree I squished a slug between my fingers. That is, to date, the most disgusting sensation I have ever felt in my life, and it was a struggle not to throw an absolute freak-out fit. The rain also made the branches really slippery and as I was hiking a thick branch raked itself down my ankle. The pain was pretty intense for a few seconds, and then it bled all over my sock and into my shoe. There was no point in trying to clean it and put a bandage on because my ankle was so wet from the rain, so I continued to hike and eventually the pain subsided. The sun was definitely setting by the time we made it to camp, so we rushed to get the tent up. We hadn't needed to eat lunch that day so rather than cooking we opted to have tortillas with peanut butter and Nutella for supper. We ate away from our campsite quickly, threw everything into the bearsack, and then Dan hung it from a tree far away. We knew there were black bears in the park, and there were signs everywhere that food needed to be hung away from camp. After a quick wipe down with baby wipes we changed and curled up for the night. I thought I would be exhausted enough to sleep, but not so much. My adrenaline was in overdrive, and I was absolutely afraid of the forest around us. I couldn't get to sleep and I heard every little noise near the tent. There were mice everywhere, so I could see their shadows, and at some point I heard something walking around the tent. I knew it was smaller so I assume it was a raccoon but I couldn't bring myself to look out and see. Somewhere around midnight, maybe, I needed to go to the bathroom, and I realized Dan was still laying there awake, too. I threw on flipflops and asked him to listen for me (seriously, guys, I was so scared!) and I didn't venture too far from the tent. I ended up peeing all over my foot and flip flop, which was unfortunate for Dan because I told him just as he stuck his foot in it to go to the bathroom, too. Apparently, peeing in the woods is an acquired skill. I was pretty good by the end of the trip though! I did end up falling asleep eventually and slept on and off through the rest of the night. It was by no means good sleep though, and I was definitely still tired the next morning.

The second day was definitely the toughest physically, but also had the most rewarding sights! We climbed what felt like a million stairs, I was more ravenous than I have ever been in my life, and we saw squirrels, a million frogs and toads, and a snake. We got to see cascades and we also hit a few overlooks that captured the forest and Lake Superior as well. Sometimes it felt like I couldn't hike one mile more, but then something beautiful made it absolutely worth it. I felt my knee a little more this day, but the compression sleeve I wore definitely helped support it. I think that will be key on future hikes. It also helped minimize the swelling, which I've been dealing with quite a bit lately regardless of activity.

Our food was pretty simple, and I tried to keep it light. We had oatmeal packs for breakfast that I made in advance, and I added dried fruit, chia seeds, and hemp seeds. We also had instant coffee packs. For lunch we brought tortillas and the individual serving packs of Justin's peanut butter and chocolate hazelnut spread. I also brought date cookies and fruit roll-ups for that meal. For dinner, one night I packed Mac and cheese and bite sized pieces of salami and the other night a quinoa meal with Epic meat bars. For snacks we had Cliff Bars, Lara Bars, dried fruit and cashews. We didn't eat all of our food but we did need to snack often so I'm glad we had easy snack options available. At one point, I started getting incredibly irritable and tired, and when we stopped I realized I just needed to eat. I scarfed down figs and mangos and immediately felt better, and then we made lunch and I was like a new person. I definitely underestimated the amount of food I thought I would consume, and the bars I brought "just in case" were all consumed. Next time I think I will make smaller snack packs that are easier to carry in the front pockets of our backpack, and I think I will include something fun like peanut M&Ms, or some Newman O's (Oreo's healthier cousin). But this was a good practice run, and I feel like I packed pretty well.

I hoped I would like it, and I'm glad I did. It's such a fun way to workout, and I love the amazing views. I can't wait to head out again!

Random Tuesday Thoughts

I don't really have much to say... but I have everything to say! So many random thoughts tonight, and I just want to talk. I've been in Boston working, and this is my fourth week here. I was living out of a hotel, but just moved to an extended stay this week, and this is where I will stay until I'm released to go home. I feel better about the extended stay because I have a kitchen here, and space for food. I talked my partner that I usually ride with into bringing his lunch for the rest of the week. Initially, it's exciting to get a large food budget for every day, but then it's just gross. I cannot eat out that much, and I'm exercising, so I need to feel good and light. While it's been challenging here for many, many reasons, there have been some fun things, too. I got to go to Fenway for free, had excellent seats, and great food, beer and company!

 

I've been to Plymouth, where I saw Plymouth Rock and had the best "lobstah" roll I've ever had in my entire life.

I've been to the cape, sat on a beautiful beach, and saw the most beautiful cape cottages along the water.

And I've even managed to squeeze in some much needed downtime in the hotel bathtub. Because when working 80 hours a week, downtime is important!

This past weekend I flew home to take care of Millie. She's had a pet sitter coming daily, but since I may be here for another month still, I needed a better solution. Dan agreed to take her, and he was already scheduled to come to Texas for his birthday, which was Friday. I was SO happy to see him! We started the day off with a giant birthday cinnamon roll for breakfast (complete with a candle), and then went to REI to try on packs for backpacking because we are exciting and adventerous people.

I'm convinced if I say this enough I will feel more adventerous and cool than we all know I actually am.

The packs were weighted down (mine had 30 pounds), and we did laps around the store determining which ones we liked. I definitely have a favorite, but need to make one more trip to be 100% sure.

For supper that night we tried a seafood resturant, Waters, and it did not disappoint. I got a peachy mule, and we started with smoked and fresh oysters. I got the crab cakes as my main dish, he got fish, and then we shared a lemon mousse and a surprise mini-cake for dessert. SO much yum. My handsome, curly-haired boy assures me he is shaving this week, but I'm not convinced. I've grown quite fond of his mountain man look though. While at dinner a lady came by the table to tell him how fabulous his hair was. I'm a fan of those curls myself.

Saturday we left to drive up to Minneapolis with the kitty. We overnighted at a hotel in Kansas City, and finished the trip Sunday. She's settling in nicely, and venturing out from under the bed more frequently. He's been sending me frequent picture updates, which I appreciate. I miss my space, and I miss my cat, and I miss my friends. I am more than ready to be home and start my summer, but in the meantime, I'm trying to make the best of the situation.

I'm struggling with a school situation. I've reached my tuition cap for 2016, and if I want to graduate within the year, I'll need to pay out of pocket about $4,500. I'm beyond ready to graduate (I've been in school 107 years now) but I don't want to pull out of my savings that I've been working so hard to build up. I can back off, still graduate next year, and let the company pay for the rest, but I'm just not sure I want to do that. I don't have to decide immediately, but I do have to decide within the next few weeks. Such a big decision.

Let's talk about my hair. I'm so intensely annoyed with it. SO, I think once these bangs grow out a bit more, I'm going back to a LOB. That sounds manageable, and it's perfect for summer, right? Right.

I require daily hugs; I'm convinced. In the absence of anyone to hug, I should have brought my stuffed bunny, Cottontail, but I couldn't fit her in my luggage. Now I'm wishing I had tried harder. Someone come visit me in Boston, mmmmk? I have a pull out sofa and a big bed! We can totes crash together.