Kindness Is Free

This week I faced a couple of situations that left me angry, and both of them are completely out of my control. In both situations, I would do things completely differently than the people involved, but those decisions aren't mine to make. It's a struggle for me to step back and acknowledge that though. Every part of me wants to yell that I know better, and that people are missing the forest for the trees. It's so easy to make judgments on others. I'm guilty of it, and so are you. We do it every single day - both intentionally and unintentionally. And I am sure I'm not the only one who struggles with wanting to grab people by the shoulders and give them a detailed synopsis of all the ways in which they are messing up. Bad decisions by people doesn't equal bad people. But I have a tendency to go there anyway.

Yesterday morning as I was getting ready to start the day, I was reflecting on both of these specific situations and found myself getting angry again. Situation one received some hurtful words, but it didn't result in me feeling better. I heard one time that if you're doing or saying the right thing, you'll feel better afterwards. Noted, Kris.

In the midst of feeling angry at myself for hurting someone's feelings, I took a step back and thought, what if, instead of immediately casting judgment on the people involved, I chose to encourage them instead? What if we, including myself, realized that we can't possibly know every single detail about someone else's story, and we recognized that those details are not ours to know? What if we didn't decide whether or not someone was worthy to love or respect, but instead we just loved or respected them? What if we tried to understand that people are broken? That they are walking around under the heavy weight of their own self-inflicted judgment and condemnation. And instead of heaping more of that on top. what if we tried to carry some of that load for them? What if, instead of pointing out someone else's flaws, we recognized that we, too, are inherently flawed. and we defended people. Not their actions, but them. Bad decisions do NOT equal bad people.

Saturday morning lesson learned. Well, maybe not learned, but a lesson I'm always learning. We've all been hurt by people, and judging seems a natural reaction based on past experiences. I've been cut so deeply by others that the scars remain, and that I construct wall after impenetrable wall to keep anyone from accessing those forbidden areas of myself. I've lived in the deep caverns of all-consuming hatred. And I've fought with all the tenacity I could muster to unpack and live there. I've clawed my way deeper and deeper, insisting that I know best - justifying the path of destruction as I proudly march down further. But when it's dark, and still, and nothing remains but to examine my heart in all of its ugliness - it's at those moments I know my search for freedom has brought me deep into captivity. And I don't belong there. Though the darkness has come, and will come, I can never willingly make the decision to stay. So I hang my head in shame, and I struggle to make my way out, picking up the pieces as I go. What I know for certain is this: in each situation that comes and results in cruel words, or a poor attitude, or a quick judgment, what I have broken is never the same, and I am never the same.

Though the lesson is always hard, be it personal or professional, and though I always resolve to never go there again, I'm only human. And I will.

But in this new season of life I'm facing - a new city, a new job, new people in my life - I'm making an effort to stop cannonballing into harsh criticism. I'm working on letting go of those things that I cannot control, and focusing on what I can control instead. I can control my attitude, and I can choose to be kind and compassionate, even when it's a challenge. And maybe, just maybe, when it's the most challenging is when it's the most necessary.

Eating Healthy In A Hotel

At the request of my readers...

(let's be real, my mom and bestie are my readers)

((hi mom, hi jenn))

I thought I'd walk through what my attempts to eat healthy in a hotel look like. People tend to be curious about my diet. Friends and family that have watched me shed close to 60 pounds are constantly asking questions about how I'm doing it. Do you want to know the secret?

Eat healthy. And exercise.

The book Eat To Live really transformed my way of thinking about food, so I tend to favor a low-fat, plant based diet. That's how I've lost the majority of my weight. And that's when I feel the best. But I'm not perfect, and I've eaten my fair share of not-so-ideal food while I've been in Minnesota. I'm absolutely trying, and despite the mess-ups, I'm certain I've lost some weight since arriving. I'm not sure how much since my scale is packed up with the rest of my belongings, but the pants I bought about a month ago are now too big, and this weekend I had to go down a size (YAY for single digits now!). I move into my apartment this week, and I'm anxious to weigh and see just how much.

I'm staying in an extended stay type hotel, so there is a full refrigerator and microwave here. Since I've been here three weeks this week, I've been to the grocery store several times. The first trip I didn't take a picture of, but I got similar items to the ones below. I also grabbed some almond butter, and frozen Amy's burritos.

 

Trip two included bananas, pumpkin seeds, romaine, apples, pitas, hummus, Larabars, prepped veggies and sauerkraut. Normally I would buy veggies and chop them up myself, but without good knives and a veggie peeler, I let them do it for me.



 

 

Trip three included grapes, a variety of mostly green juices (Suja and Evolution are my favorite brands for these), more veggies, herbed sweet potatoes, more hummus, salsa, and a spring roll.

I've been doing LOTS of wraps and/or salads with romaine, salsa, hummus, and red onion.

 

I've also been doing almond butter, banana, and dark chocolate chip wraps, because they are amazing. And also, my countertops are the color of my food. That's not weird at all.

 

 #yesitisweird #wheredidmytortillago

 

 

Easy foods are helping me stay on track! And I've still been celebrating my love of pumpkin everything - tis the season y'all!

I've eaten at Jimmy Johns a handful of times (it's close to work AND my hotel), and I love their veggie sandwich! I usually get it on wheat bread, hold the mayo, and add sprouts. It's absolutely delish! And a life-saver for lunch since I've not been faithfully bringing mine in! I'm excited to unpack my Tupperware and transition back to my usual salad and fruit.

I may try and write a "what I ate" post weekly - that'll give you a glimpse into what my typical day of food looks like. The above selections are yummy, but not really typical. I usually cook much more than I am right now. And with cold weather creeping in, I know I'll be living off of soups and stews. If that happens, I may post some of my favorite recipe links, too. That'll get you guys up and running with some Kris-approved yummies!

Exploring

The last couple of weeks have been eventful. Though I'm still enjoying Minnesota from my crappy hotel, it's amazing. The energy here is awesome. There is so much going on, and I want to do it all. The good news is that I'll be moving into my apartment in less than a week, and I'm STOKED. Let the decorating commence! I cannot WAIT to be in my own bed, with my own stuff. Also, my neighbors have sex really, REALLY frequently. And often after a big fight. Unfortunately, it's not polite; it's loud. The first night I was really embarrassed, but now I am used to it. It's still awkward, but I just turn the TV on. I hate to call the front desk - let 'em have fun. I'd rather them have fun when I'm not next door though.

Though I've unpacked a little here, it's not the same. I've also been dying to cook! I'm missing my green smoothies for breakfast, but I'm itching to make a good hearty stew and some crusty bread to soak it all up. It's chilly here, and I've already busted out the boots, so soups and stews are a no-brainer.

Last weekend I got to explore Minnehaha Park, which I've been anxious to do since I arrived. There is a waterfall in the middle of the city, so regardless of the size, it's bound to be pretty amazing. Though the waterfall is lovely, the trails are really fun. They go all around the park, and it's fall. So everything is just gorgeous. Fall is my absolute favorite. Something about the trees turning and the air getting crisp makes me feel invincible. There were wild turkey in the park, too! That made me super happy. Obviously.

Sunday I tried a new church, and I loved it. They were very welcoming and warm, and though I'd considered trying several churches, I've been looking forward to going back to this one all week. What I need are friends, and I saw many women that looked to be around my age there. It's a good place to start.

This weekend is looking to be a fun one, too. I went for a jog this morning, then got a manicure. I'm happy to report I no longer look like Edward Scissorhands. This afternoon I visited a friend and got a little lesson in home brewed beer.

 

Let's talk about how I'm thirty years old and have never been introduced to all of the amazing kinds of craft beer out there. The cook in me appreciates the complexity of brewing unique creations. When I learned that the recipes can be custom-created, I immediately started dreaming of combinations in my head to try. My goal is to manipulate my friend into brewing them for me. He's easily bribed by baked goods, and I am one heck of a good baker, so I think I can convince him. We're gonna call it Operation Kris-B (see what I did there? like krispy? except kris-"b" for brews) I admit, that sounded much better in my head, but I'm far too lazy to brainstorm, so that's the official name. I tried to name a program this week at work, and it didn't go much better than that. Clearly, my marketing class isn't working for me. Or I just do better thinking in the morning. Yes, let's go with that one.