Interview Uh-Ohs

With all of this year's personal changes, I've really been forced to look at what I want to do with the future in terms of my career. I'm with such a good company, and there are so many opportunities all over the place. I've done a similar job for the last five years, which I love, but I definitely need experience in a couple of other areas to be able to advance. So I've put in a few applications.

 

Which brings me to my recent interview. I interviewed this week with someone I know, which for the record, is a thousand times worse than interviewing with a stranger. For whatever reason, my jitters were just completely out of control; he makes me nervous. And y'all. Y'ALL. I am Bridget Jones in all of her awkwardness. My conversation to myself pre-interview is something along the lines of, "You've got this. You've studied. Do the best you can, and whatever happens will happen." But then in reality, I stumbled over my words, I talked way too fast (this is how you know I'm nervous), and my mind completely blanked on questions to ask at the end of the interview. Come on Kris, rookie mistake. So naturally I spent the rest of the day over-analyzing every minuscule detail of what was said, how I said it, and how he reacted when I said it. And I woke up this morning feeling utterly disappointed that I may have presented as unprepared. 

It is what it is, and my view is that as long as I learned something, mess-ups are okay. My people-pleasing personality doesn't like to feel like I let anyone down, or didn't meet expectations, but when you know better you do better, right? So I took notes on how to improve next time (which includes a list of post-interview questions). And I will work on applying those, even in the midst of overwhelming nerves.

 

In the spirit of a not-so-stellar interview, I thought we could talk about interviews that went WAY worse then this one. Ahhhh, the memories of way long ago.

 

So, normally I don't look incredibly terrible at work. But on a day when I showed up in a sweatshirt, very very early in my career, with my naturally curly hair (which you recently saw a picture of) piled messily on top of my head, and zero makeup, a woman I was interviewing with later that week came over to meet me. I wasn't the top candidate going in, and I knew it, so I felt like my chances were over when I saw her wearing a suit. I cried in the bathroom, and then a week later got offered the job. It was my first "real" promotion, and she absolutely adored me. I learned to not wear ratty sweatshirts to work after that. But for the record, at least three days out of five I'm still not wearing mascara.

 

I bombed an interview terribly years ago. It was really, really bad. I think I felt confident of maybe one question that I answered. It was so terrible that when I hung up the phone I started laughing. And I was so thankful the hiring manager was in New York and I would never meet her. I got the job, and it put me into the group that I love and still work in today. That taught me to start a folder of interview questions to study. It also taught me the importance of a stellar professional reputation; a good recommendation earned me the spot.

I interviewed a couple of years ago and was asked to create a power point slide so they could get to know me, and informed that it should also show them why they should hire me. I had never done anything like that before, and so I didn't know if I should go with my personality, which is super creative and loves lots of color and patterns, or if I should keep it professional and clean with minimal colors. I went with creative, and made a fun, interactive sheet that I absolutely loved, but was nervous to submit. I didn't get that job, but the hiring manager loved my preso so much that he asked if he could keep it and use it as an example of what a good presentation should look like. He told me it was by far his favorite. That taught me that being authentically me and letting my personality show a little isn't a bad thing. Professional doesn't always have to equal boring. I also learned to embrace my creativity and use it when it's appropriate to do so.

In one of my very first interviews out of high school, not with my present company, I was asked what my weakness was and I proudly and confidently answered that I had no weaknesses. I know, I know. I did not get that job, obviously. But I learned that it is okay and expected to have areas of opportunity. I've been prepared to answer that question in every single interview I've had since.

 

Messing up isn't the worst thing in the world. I've done it before, with people I know and people I don't, and I will no doubt do it again. But I'm okay with that. I'm not perfect, but I am always learning. And what will be, will just be.

Louisville Trip

I spent this weekend near Louisville visiting some dear friends of mine, Graham and Kim. It was fun, and exhausting.

 

I’d intended on heading that direction Friday after work, but I was drowning in homework, and I knew I needed to knock it out. I’m in accounting right now, and this is NOT my expertise. I feel like I’m pretty talented at BSing, but this subject is foreign to me, and might as well be in a different language. I’m actually needing to study to do well, and that is no fun at all. So I ended up leaving on Saturday morning instead.

 

Graham and I have known each other for nine years, so I’m familiar with his intense love of all things rice crispy treats. Kim and I share a mutual adoration of anything chocolate and peanut butter, so I decided to whip up a batch of Reeses Rice Crispy Treats to take along. Over the course of the weekend, the three of us came dangerously close to finishing the entire batch.

 

 

I was so excited to see their daughter. She is so sweet and cheery, and loves me as much as I love her. She showered me in compliments and hugs for two days, and asked if I could just move in. I feel like it’s an accomplishment that I managed to leave her there instead of taking her home with me.

 

 

Saturday night we went out with Graham’s brother and some of his friends. I didn’t get in bed until close to 4 AM….which reconfirmed that I am way too old for that, ha! We had a blast though.

 

 

I drove back yesterday listening to an obnoxious playlist that included Sir Mix-A-Lot, Color Me Badd, old school Usher, Spice Girls, and some random Christmas music to round it all out. I’m pretty sure that playlist falls into the “don’t judge me” category of my musical tastes. I got home a little after 8 PM, and managed to be in bed by 10. I neeeeeeded some sleep after Saturday’s late night out.

 

They sent me home with a baby lemon tree, which I am so excited about! Hopefully I can keep this little guy alive long enough to grow some lemons. I feel like it needs a name…but I don’t have anything clever at the moment.

 

 

Decisions, decisions.

 

iPhone Friday

My week in iPhone photos!

 

This awesomeness happened. I know, I know. It's beautifully tragic. A fabulous hot mess. I simultaneously hate and love this dress. And you'd better believe I'm rocking it.

This duck tape. I mean. I can't even. The possibilities are endless. I can make a duck tape dress, a duck tape refrigerator, and a duck tape washer and dryer. Duck tape ALL the things!

 

I was sitting on my couch the other day and noticed my blinds were glowing pink. I went outside and saw this. There is no filter at all. How beautiful and amazing! Sometimes in the busyness of everything I forget to slow down and appreciate all of the natural beauty around. This was a good reminder to do just that, and I sat on the steps of my back porch and watched it until the sun went down completely and the clouds returned to white.



This hair, y'all. Humidity is not my friend.

My new PiYo workout arrived in the mail this week and I cannot wait to try it! It's going to absolutely kick my butt. As long as it's simultaneously lifting and firming it though, bring.it.on.

Year of Lessons

I knew that turning 30 represented a significant life change, but I had no idea just how significant. Since turning 30 in October, I’ve lost 50+ pounds, divorced my childhood sweetheart and ended our 16 year relationship, buried a pet, and I’m now getting ready to change positions at work and move away from home. I’ve cultivated new friendships, and I’ve intentionally disconnected from old friendships. All on their own, those changes are monumental. Together, they are transformative. I’m calling this year my “Year of Lessons”. Throughout this journey, I’ve learned so, so many things. Things that seem obvious, but things I never really understood. These are lessons that I wish I’d learned in my 20s. I’m sure I’ll have more lessons six months from now, six years from now even, but I thought I’d share with you what I’ve learned so far.

Be unapologetic and uncompromising about your values and beliefs, regardless of circumstances. Only surround yourself with people who hold those same views. Minimizing people's presence in your life is sometimes necessary. The people you hang out with the most should be the people who call you out when you are being absolutely ridiculous, hold you to the best version of yourself, and encourage you to live with integrity. If someone turns a blind eye when you're misbehaving in a way that damages yourself in any capacity, then that someone doesn't deserve to be a high priority in your life. Period. 

A friend told me recently,"Don't be that girl. It's easy to be, and maybe no one will know. But you will." It's not what I wanted to hear. But it is absolutely what I needed to hear. Be THAT kind of friend. And have those kind of friends.
 

Don't be afraid to take risks. I’m not kidding when I tell you that my entire life has been planned around what I thought would happen in the future. I didn’t move away from my family, ever, because I rationalized that I wanted my children to grow up around them. I bought a huge house because I knew I would have lots of babies to fill the rooms. I didn’t travel, because I figured that money could be used elsewhere. See a pattern here? Guess what? Things absolutely do not go as planned all of the time. Stop living for tomorrow, and live for today. It’s absolutely okay and responsible to plan a little, but don’t plan your entire life out to the degree that you give yourself no opportunities to have some adventure. If you want to move, then move. If you want to travel, travel. You’ll figure everything else out later.

What you allow is what will continue. In marriage, in friendships, in work relationships - in any relationship at all. Your voice matters. Use it. If it bothers you, say so. No matter how insignificant it may seem, your opinion is valid and should be respected. Ask questions. Understand fully. And speak until you are fully understood.

Learn who you are. As an individual. Not as so-and-so's husband/wife/father/mother/son/daughter. As YOU. What do YOU like? Do you want to play an instrument? Then make time to take lessons. Do you like yoga? Then make time for a class. You will never, ever have extra time. You make time for what is important. And nourishing your soul, and your own individuality – well, perhaps that is the MOST important. When you are fulfilled as an individual, only then can you be the best version of yourself for everyone else. Look, I know it's valiant to sacrifice for the sake of everyone else. But if you give and give and give, then eventually you run dry. Trust me on this one; I speak from experience. Find YOU. Find your brand. And if you don’t like what you find, then be brave enough to admit that and change.

Don't be a victim. Stuff happens. Sometimes all at once. Life isn't fair, and you don't always get what you deserve. But life goes on anyway. It's okay if some days you cannot get out of bed. But it's not okay every day. Get up. Get dressed. Conquer the day. Figure out what you need to do to be okay. Maybe you need a therapist, maybe you need a trainer, maybe you need a journal. Find out what you need, and get it. This is your life. Invest in it.

You can't save people, no matter how hard you try. It is heartbreaking to watch someone drowning. And utterly devastating when they disappear under the water completely. But you cannot rescue them. They can't and won't resurface unless they have the desire to swim. Don't leave the sidelines. Cheer them on. Love them through it. And by all means throw them lifejacket after lifejacket after lifejacket. But understand that you cannot jump in and pull them out. This has been an especially hard lesson for me this year, as I've had numerous friends go through monumental changes.

Feel what you feel. People will tell you what to feel and when you should feel it. Everyone. Best friends, family, neighbors, and random people you’ve never met. Ignore them. Seriously. Grief, for whatever reason you may be grieving, is as unique as each individual. There isn't a roadmap or a time line, and you shouldn't feel bad, sad, or pressured to follow their rules. If you aren't angry, don't force yourself to be angry. If you are, then don’t suppress it and pretend that you are not. Allow it to flow through you until it has passed. Beat the hell out of a pillow with a bat if that is what you need to process the emotion. But you, and you alone, determine how to feel and when.

Spoiler alert: You won’t scare people away. In your darkest, saddest, ugliest moments the people who love you will still love you.

People are watching you. Every single second of every single day. Whether you're on a plane, train, or even a boat. In dark parking lots. At the grocery store. At church. At bars. In hotels. On the internet. At work. Everywhere. If you're doing something wrong or inappropriate and you think you're doing it in secret, more than likely, you are not. Your reputation is and should be important. I’m going to say that again in case you didn’t fully understand. Your reputation is and should be important. You made a mistake? So what. You choose what you allow to define you. Whether you've made one mistake or a thousand mistakes, prove them wrong, and be better than that mistake. Don’t let it define you. Sure, it may take awhile. But the time will pass anyway. When you know better, you do better.

Guard your words. Most people are merely curious for details, and they don’t have your best interests at heart. I deleted 200+ people off of Facebook for this very reason.

Birds of feather flock together. My mom told me this thousands of times as I was growing up. No joke. And I didn’t fully grasp it until recently. People are who they surround themselves with. You are who you surround yourself with. If you are hanging out with someone, and you don’t like any one of that person’s friends, take note of that. If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, guess what? It’s a duck. And for the record, isolating the duck from the rest of the flock doesn’t minimize the fact that it is a duck.

I confessed to my best friend recently that I was struggling with someone who I felt obligated to befriend. She looked at me and said, "Why? If it makes you uncomfortable, then don't be friends with her." So simple, but so profound. Choose your friends carefully, and listen to your gut.

Anything less than 100% transparency doesn't work. Tell the truth. Always. Always. Always. Because if you cannot say it, then it imprisons you. And whether it surfaces now, or years later, it WILL, at some point, surface. This is applicable to every single relationship that you have.

This just skims the surface of realizations and “ah-ha” moments that I’ve experienced this year. I’ve grown into a woman that I almost don’t even recognize. Someone that knows she is brave, and strong, and good enough. Someone who knows that her mistakes, no matter how big and ugly, don’t have to define her. Someone who knows she doesn’t deserve any less than the very best, and someone who won’t settle for anything less than the best. Someone who found her voice, and learned to ask for what she wants. Someone who is willing to step out of her comfort zone and try new things. Someone who understands that she has to invest time and effort into what is important.

Y’all. Y’all. This is huge. This is exciting. This, my friends, is the best kind of growth.

Happy 4th!

Happy 4th of July! I hope yours was fantastic!

We celebrated my nephew's 5th birthday today this afternoon (his birthday was yesterday) at my mom's house, and then I hit my local park with some sweet friends for a concert, and a fireworks display. It really was a good day, and I had an absolute blast (pun intended).

This day holds some significance for me, and I began with a bit of a heavy heart. Fortunately, everyone that spent the day with me knew it, and they loved me all the way through with plenty of jokes and hugs. I managed to make it through with no major crying, though I did get a little teary eyed during the fireworks. The drunk guy getting arrested right next to me, however, served as a good distraction. I'm not sure I've ever seen someone get pulled out of a vehicle and handcuffed up close. Not gonna lie, I giggled a bit. He couldn't even walk! Very thankful for officers who take care of people like that.

I have a million pictures from the day, but here are a few of my favorites!